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GO SHARKS!!!!

Hello all,

I have a few questions concerning Grad School...

First, I will give you a quick background of where I am coming from. I am currently a junior in college and hope to go directly into graduate school after graduating next year. I am interested in two fields: psychology and law. I know that there are fields that have an intersection between both fields. For this reason, I have become increasingly interested in the field of Forensic Psychology. Approximately how long of an education after undergraduate would I have to go through?

Now, to that end (of becoming a Forensic Psychologist), there are two options that I have been thinking of. First, I am interested in doing a joint degree in Law and Psychology (a JD/PhD). This program take approximately 7 years to complete. Would I be a good candidate to be a forensic psychologists with this joint degree?

Second, I am also interested in doing what others have suggested, which is to get a PhD in Clinical Psychology (which would also take approximately 7 years, correct? as opposed to a Master's-which would only take 2 or 3 years...correct me if I'm wrong here), and then gain experience until I am able to apply for certification through the American Board of Forensic Psychology.

Now, I know this is a personal decision, but I just wanted to ask around and see what other's thought of my two options. I am very much afraid of taking so long to pursue a Clinical Psychology doctorate that will not have good returns (as in job security, pay, etc.). Therefore, I am leaning towards a joint degree in Law and Psychology because of the possibility (if I become disinterested in pursuing a forensic psychology career) of being able to pursue more career interests with the JD under my belt.

because this song makes up for everything I've been feeling...



Yes, we have arrived
Joss Stone
Uh huh
It's for the world world world world
Uh

You don't have to make your mind up
I just wanna take my time with you
yeah
If that's alright
it's alright it's alright
Oh forgive me if I get to shy but
maybe you're the reason why
I'm feelin' butterflies
I feel it too
Somethin' bout the look in your eyes
Oooh it just makes me feel so right

Well you're my boy
You're my joy
You're my dream
I'm for ya
I adore your everything that I need
I love how you love me
If I'm made for you
you're made for me
It's too good to be
So tell me what we're gonna do now

Funny how my world keeps spinnin'
sometimes you can be so silly
You know just how to make me laugh
Yeah
You're skin is so lovely
When you touch me
I know that you got my back
Sure do, yes I do
I feel so safe when you hold me
It's like you know me

Well you're my boy
You're my joy
You're my dream
I'm for ya
I adore your everything that I need
I love how you love me
If I'm made for you

[Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

you're made for me
It's too good to be
So tell me what we're gonna do now

Oh right now
See baby I love how you make me smile
Don't leave
Please stay awhile
Let's make this happen
I don't care how

Right now lets stay in the present
Can't worry bout tomorrow cause today is a blessin
The world in a state of aggression
I find calm in you
I see my mom in you
It's like a feelin' in ya stomach
when you want it so bad
If you keep keepin' it fresh
it ain't gonna go bad
I been through the valley of love
Rolled the shores of cali
just to find peace of mind
Lookin' to the sky
askin' for at least a sign
Beautiful you came at such a decent time
when we combine
it's like good food and wine
Flavorful yet refined
you remind me of the divine
So easy
Love can be lost and then found, like Stevie
I just love havin' you around
you wearin' a gown
I'm wearin' a crown
pound for pound
we the freshest couple in town

Well you're my boy
You're my joy
You're my dream
I'm for ya
I adore your everything that I need
I love how you love me
If I'm made for you
you're made for me
It's too good to be
Tell me what we're gonna do
tell me what we're gonna do now

Mom: You didn't do anything while we were gone, huh?

...yeah, I didn't do anything, Mom. I suppose I'm not contributing to society like you once thought I could, right?

I haven't even moved yet and I'm already dreading it and am pretty pissed off at the way things have worked out. I've also come to realize that moving sucks and is a tremendous pain in the ass...even before I've done the whole moving thing. Crazy.

In my head there is this repeating, resounding "FUUUUUUCK!!!!!" screaming in my head. No joke. I have a huge headache that won't go away, probably not until this week is over.

In a more...metalish mood today, I guess.

I've got a feeling, it's hard to explain
Feels like the devil rents a room in my brain
The things im ashamed of feel like dear old st paul
The things that I wanna do, I don't do at all

So bury me deep, cover me with snow
Wrap me in sleep, blanket of ghosts

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is so weak
I wanna kiss her lips, but I kissed her cheek
Just hear my request, give this one on fair way
Please take me home before it's too late

Bury me deep, cover me with snow
Wrap me in sleep, blanket of ghosts

Wake me when it's spring time in heaven
When the tears are all white from my face
Wake me when it's spring time in heaven
When I'm strong enough to walk in that place

Image marred by self-infliction
Private wars on my soul waged
Heart is scarred by dual volitions
Juxtaposed and both engaged
Kindle flame, a test of faith
Pray help me see it through
I put all my trust in you

Refine hate and love
Fall afresh on me
End this crisis of
Identity

Draw this darkness out like poison
Stab, retrieve, again decline
Help me drive the dagger deeper
Trace with me explicit line
Take this blade, a test of faith,
And strike me deep and true
I put all my trust in you

Refine hate and love
Fall afresh on me
End this crisis of
Identity

This is my voice, all shadows stayed this is my heart, upon the altar laid
Please take all else away, hear my cry, I beg, I plead, I pray
I'll walk into the flame, a calculated risk to further bless your name
So strike me deep and true, and in your strength I will live and die both unto you.

and I'm tiiiiiiiiired.

Restful sleep, while dreaming of somebody. What more could I ask for? Only that these next few weeks go by without any unnecessary wrinkles, and that I could move in and finally get Fall Quarter started of right!

Second day back home. Well, actually, first full day back home. I did a lot of chores around the house today and washed some more clothes that I am planning on giving away. Come to think of it, I pretty much cleaned the whole house. I already made bank on the books I put up for sale on half.com. I think i'll get about $100 in total since I sold 3. I went to Hollywood today to try and see if I could get my job back. Thank goodness Jamie was still the manager there--and cooler as ever! There has pretty much been a complete turnover in regards to CSR's at the store, but the managers and shift leaders still are the same, to my knowledge. So I submitted an online application again, since my records were erase from the system after 6 months during which I was in school. It wasn't too bad, pretty quick actually. I think I'm getting use to filling out those online job apps!! haha...I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but whatever. I did it, and he'll let me know when he gets it. I hopefully will be working with all those other cool people at the end of the week, even though it will only be for like a month or so. Yeah, pretty sketchy, I know. I need the money, so what can I say? Jamie likes me, I like the place, so it works out.

After that, I really didn't do that much. Hung out with my dad and mom for a while, made dinner, then went for a run. Now I'm back here watching the Office an getting hyped about next season!! I can't wait!

I'm pretty content right now, an hopefully it will only get better. Thankfully, if I ever open the store, it will be at 10am. woooohoooooo!

I really hope it does get better from here, because I think it only should. Starting now, I am making those necessary changes that will be needed when school comes around again in the fall. I really really really wanted to help out King and everyone else in the club with the upcoming events. They sound like tons of fun, but what can I say to them? "Sorry yeah I got fired and had to move back home. My bad."...uhm...no....methinks not. I would rather not tell that many people what happened. What's done is done, and all they need to know is that I went home for the rest of the summer...even though I wish I could go back and help the club out!!!! gahhhh!!! hard decision!!! I guess I'll just have to wait until school starts to actually do anything with my position. I'm really excited for the club this year, though. I think we made a lot of changes and discussed a lot of good things to do this upcoming school year. Hopefully, with these changes, will come more members, and people will actually join out of their own free will instead of being dragged by friends who are only half-committed. It should be an interesting year for the club, in only its 3rd year. We're still building it up, but I'm sure as time goes on it will become stronger. It just depends on whether or not the officers are willing to put in the time and the members are wiling to be committed to make it a recognized, strong club.

I'm getting a bit sad about seeing Razor limp around like the 12 year old dog he is. POO!!! :(

Other than that, good day!

I got back a few hours ago and this seems like the only thing I really want to do besides unpack and start putting my books up for sale online. Productive? maybe...not so much.

Whatever.

At least I have some quiet time to myself...although that can drive me crazy, too. It's all about balance! But for right now, this quiet that I have is a good thing, so I can think clearly about my next moves in these next few weeks (or months, rather). I need to start digging deeper into the whole law school thing, what's required and all that jazz. I need to change my classes around for next quarter, possibly taking a Spanish class and Business Law class, if I could find one I'm qualified for. 

Later on today or tomorrow I'll stop by Hollywood to see if they need help. I'm hoping Jamie is still the manager there. If not, meh...it'll be a little harder. Jamie, I need you! If that doesn't pan out, then it's time for desperation mode. Apply everywhere to do anything. Yes, very intense times these are.

Oh joy I can't wait to see how dinner is going to be tonight! fun fun fun! NOT.

It's not fun to hear the pain in the voices of my mom and dad. That's why I mostly talk to my aunt and my grandparents. It's not like I don't hear it in their voices either. Come to think of it, maybe it's just in my head. A lot of things are going on in my head.

My grandfather told me a few days ago that I should look at all the mistakes that I have made thus far, but imagine it as a little, tiny black dot in the middle of a huge white circle, which is all the good things that I have done. I thought that was a good way to look at it, and I guess I just need to stay positive and not make the same stupid mistakes over again, because if that happens, then what have I learned!!

As I'm sorting out everything in my room, I definitely didn't realize how much school books I have to sell. Hopefully there will be takers! But of course, I have to keep a lot of my guilty pleasures like the American Law and Constitutions, the Baraka Reader, On the Road...among many others. Maybe I should sell them, but it's going to be really hard to let them go. I need the money, though...grrr....so I don't know.

poo.

I definitely need to get in touch with that mad scientist from "Click" so I can use that funky remote to fast forward until September! HALP!

If you can forgive yourself for the mistakes you make, you will find true happiness.

It may sound strange, but it is possible to be happy about the fact that you are unhapppy.

Develop the ability to get yourself to do what needs doing when it needs to be done--whether you like it or not--and you will find happiness.

Find happiness with friends who are wise, quiet and good.

I just need to worry about myself, no one else...

Today I head back home, after one of the biggest bumps in the road I have faced, not surprisingly as the result of a dumbass mistake. As the time comes closer for me to leave the house that I have spent a year or so in, I am looking back and wishing I could turn back time to before this summer started, back to Spring Quarter. However, I can't. I just need to move on and look to the future. Come to think of it, I am extremely glad that I'm leaving this house. It was fun at times, and at other times it was crazy. As always, it was a learning experience, just like everything else I have experienced in the past year as well as the major mistake that just happened. I could definitely say that I learned more about the guys I lived with, and now I see who my true friends are, and also realize the awesome ones that I have met this past year.

Leaving this house and going back home will give me a fresh start. I at least need to look at it that way. I perhaps DO need to start fresh after this whole thing. It's the only way for me to start over, gain closure, and move on.

The guys I am living with next year, one of which is my best friend Vinny, will also help me along. I know he's got my back and I've got his. The support and friendship that we have for each other should definitely help me get back on track with things like looking for another job, grad school apps, the lsats, and pretty much everything else that comes my way. It will definitely be nice to have Alvaro there to to balance things out. I am pretty lucky to be living with those "wise, quiet and good" guys. Don't get me wrong, this year there were some guys like that who I lived with, but now I see who will be there for me and who will not. There are true friends, and then just friends, I suppose.

As I type this, I am getting more excited to just skip this next month or so and start fresh. A new year, with more challenges that I will face head on and I know it will be hard now that I have to rebuild my character and prove myself and gain the trust back from many people, especially myself.

It's strange, but this "inner battle" is getting intense. I just need today to clear my head when I go home and write some more thoughts down when Kong's loud hip-hop/rap music isn't playing anymore--one could only handle so much, right? That is surely one thing I will NOT miss. *sigh* quietness (at times, is good!).

I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

Shut me off
Im ready
Heart stops
I stand alone
Cant be on my own



But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
...
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
...

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

"Roxy, your dress makes me feel funny in my pants."

Every move and decision I make seems like a mistake waiting to happen.

Tragic, isn't it?

So, I guess I had to start a new one! I've come to the conclusion that I can't live without an eljay, no matter what. I miss how therapeutic it is to write on a blog/journal thing. So anyways, here it goes again, for what...the third time? I've got no idea what I'll write in here, but most of the time it will just be blaaaah. Nothing interesting, usually.